10 worst predictions for 2011: New year promises Yoko Ono-McCartney album along with World War III

Grab your children and your cameras as World War III is on the way for 2011.

Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

At least that’s one of the predictions that kept popping up while researching the 10 worst things in store for the new year.

Psychic Linda Monroe, who claimed to have predicted a plane flying into a “Major City and lots of falling debree” on Sept. 11 and her equally accurate “death of a famous British male actor in 2001,” even says the next world war will involve weapons that shoot out “microwave type beams.”

Eek. We’ve all seen what happens to Peeps in the microwave. Imagine what happens to people.

But that’s OK, as Catholic Planet says at least the Big Apple will be spared from being microwaved as New York City is instead going to be hit by a nuclear bomb.

To make matters even scarier, the nuclear bomb attack is likely to be controlled by computer hackers, who already mussed up some Iranian top-secret stuff.

Yes, hackers and their malicious computer viruses will hit the 2011 scene with a vengeance, says MSNBC.com, going for bigger and more widespread mayhem. Reducing our personal little machines to expensive paperweights, like one did to my laptop last month, was just child’s play.

Computers are not the only thing that will be felled by viruses, as a sickness and death promises to infect living things as well.

A big scare on the animal disease front will result in the mass slaughter of livestock, according to the National Review. While it was not noted which type of animals will enjoy this mass slaughter, we must keep in mind that mad cows, birds and swine already had their time in the disease scare spotlight.

Disease will also come barreling down on humans, at least those in the southwest who survive the microwave beams, according to a seer named Da Juana. This gal, who predicted Mel Gibson’s racial rant, says the illness will come from a neighboring country.

Canada?

Even scarier than all the deaths is a terrifying birth prediction from Alizon, a white witch and one of Da Juana’s pals at IndyPosted. She says not one, not two, but three sets of octopulets will be born in 2011. The full horror of this development will truly be known when they all ban together for a reality TV show. We are still suffering the after-effects of Jon and Kate Plus Eight.

Other horrifying celebrity predictions come from Craig Hamilton Parker, and he’s gotta be good. He keeps his odds of being accurate high by predicting a major earthquake in California every year, or at least for the past two years running. The one scheduled in 2011 will be violent enough to damage the infamous Hollywood sign, says he. Perhaps it’s already in bad enough shape that no one will even notice.

His first scary celebrity prediction is Paul McCartney and Yoko Ono teaming up for an album to honor  John Lennon. No comment needed on that one.

His second is the sad demise of the Beckham marriage, as he says the couple will file for divorce in February. This breaks the hearts of tattooed soccer players and scowling stick-figure women everywhere, as they will no longer have the perfect role models to look up to.

But that’s nothing compared to one final vision from psychic Mason, who tells of an upcoming war scene that lodged in her head.

“I see people high up in the mountains,” she writes on her website, “partly barren terrain, like Alps or high mountains. They are walking, it is a war battle on the ground. This is a foreign country overseas from Australia.”

While she made this prediction back in 2008 and has yet to confirm its existence, she may be right on the money.

Perhaps she’s not envisioning a future war scene after all, but rather caught a current glimpse of Pinal County or Nogales.

Happy New Year.

What do you think?

What’s the best/worst prediction you’ve heard for 2011?

Do you believe all the hoopla?

Are you stocking up on peanut butter?

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About Rynski

Writer, artist, performer who specializes in the weird, wacky and sometimes creepy. Learn more at ryngargulinski.com.
This entry was posted in Crime, danger, death, environment, gross stuff, life, Rynski Column and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to 10 worst predictions for 2011: New year promises Yoko Ono-McCartney album along with World War III

  1. Eric heithaus says:

    Happy New Year Rynski !

    I want to convince as many people as I can to consider this idea given to me by John and Yoko Ono Lennon.
    paraphrasing:
    War is over- If we want it. It’s up to each of us. If I say “war is over” that means, for me, war is over. We can easily end all wars and world hunger when enough people decide that war is no longer an acceptable way to solve our differences.

    Let’s do something crazy this year!

    Peace out,
    Eric

    • Rynski says:

      happy new year to you, too, eric!
      thanks for your comment – and your ono-lennon thought share.
      i’d have to agree with it wholeheartedly – i’d also have to add that the war in some people’s own heads is prob. far worse than any bloodshed on alps-like mountains could ever be.
      peace back to ya – and yes!!! i am def. up for a crazily creative venture in 2011 – your animation kicked butt…as do your videos – yes, crazy all the way!
      have a glorious new year’s eve and beyond.

  2. beezle says:

    Double eek media maven! 😉 World cataclysm, a stones throw from Australia? Sure.
    Next they’ll predict that the world will end due to some obscure Mayan codex foretelling the end. Ha! Like that’s gonna happen. I predict that the US will encounter…wait, it’s coming to me…ah, all have been shown to me, tough economic times. Whew! I think I need a nap now. Nurse? My medication please… 😉
    Keep sharing these tidbits ombudsRyn, your writing always makes my day!

    • Rynski says:

      hahahahahhahahahah! oh, those psychics always have the best predictions – much more interesting, for sure, than the boring old computer virus panic. YOU!! are good with your own predictions, as well. tough economic times, eh? who’da thunk? hahahah.
      so cool you keep reading – and enjoying. thanks for comment and laugh.
      oh! and happy new year!

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