Shut people up with Blabber Meter: Tech device silences Chatty Cathy coworkers, friends, family – even mother-in-law

Sometimes we wish certain folks would just shut up.

The Blabber Meter helps get blabber heads off the phone/Thinkstock

We all know at least one Chatty Cathy type – although one is often loud and loose-lipped enough to sound like seven different people.

These types don’t even care what they’re saying. They’ll talk about the weather, their sweater, the rain, their pain, the sun, their operation, their baby’s latest bowel movement – enough talk, talk, talk to drive us insane.

They corner us in the supermarket, explaining the holistic benefits of organic bananas or oolong tea. They stifle us at the workplace, crowding like cackling hens around our desk or flooding us with words near the office water cooler, mere inches from the doorway and escape.

They let loose on the phone, spewing nonstop talk like vomit, or pin us to our porches on our way out the door, slathering words into our ears until they bleed.

Sometimes they even enter our homes – disguised as drunk uncles, chatty cousins or one heck of an obnoxious mother-in-law.

Well now we have a solution.

While a gag, muzzle or swift punch in the mouth comes immediately to mind as a way to stop the ceaseless babble, there is something that is much more humane – and not as likely to get us arrested.

Enter the Blabber Meter.

The Blabber Meter computes how much time - and money - incessant talkers waste with their blather/submitted photo

This handy, dandy tech device looks and feels like a small silver desk clock. But it is so much more. The Blabber Meter comes completely equipped with a timer that automatically converts minutes into money units.

This way you know and can show how much time – and money – the incessant talker is wasting with every word about the weather, every description of their baby’s latest bowel movement.

You might even get in good with your boss, when you show her how a stifling, long corporate meeting is eating up hundreds of dollars in company profits. Just be wary when using on the mother-in-law.

The Blabber Meter is lightweight and completely portable, ideal for those on-the-go situations at the supermarket or front porch.

Yes, the Blabber Meter is for real – learn more or buy one today for only $24.99 at its website

Yes, the Blabber Meter – because money is time, time is money and nothing is as golden as silence.


Ryn Gargulinski is a poet, artist, performer and Ryngmaster who sometimes wishes she had a Blabber Meter when a certain someone talks and talks through the movies we rent. Her column appears every Friday on Rynski’s Blogski. Her art, writing and more is at and E-mail

What do you think?

Will you be purchasing a Blabber Meter?

What Chatty Cathy types annoy you most?

What methods have you used to make people be quiet?


About Rynski

Writer, artist, performer who specializes in the weird, wacky and sometimes creepy. Learn more at
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9 Responses to Shut people up with Blabber Meter: Tech device silences Chatty Cathy coworkers, friends, family – even mother-in-law

  1. Kenosis23 says:

    It has been my observation that the bosses don’t care about how much money they’re costing the uncaring corporation, just how much you are.

    • Kenosis23 says:

      You know, when I first read this I was thinking that the “Cone of Silence,” from Get Smart, had finally made it to the market. I’m disapointed that it’s just someone trying to make money from a glorified clock … it seems someone could market an ap for the iPhone that would be cheeper — the ap, not the iPhone — and you could also play games on it, thus causing The Man even more financial loss … Power to the Wage Slave … Stick it to The Man! 🙂

      • Rynski says:

        oooooo, kenosis23, i think you’re onto something, here – you may have the next big thing in iphonee aps! run to a patent lawyer now! haha! thanks for input – and for sharing your glorious idea. the big seller is that it has double function with the money-wasting, time-wasting games.
        p.s. i’m not familiar with the ‘cone of silence’ but if it’s anything like that device in the get smart shoe i’m betting it’s cool.

      • Kenosis23 says:

        For your greater education, here are two links to get you up to speed:

      • Rynski says:

        ha! very good – thanks for additional info, kenosis23.
        sounds like a GREAT device – i’ll order about six for my christmas shopping right away! hahahah.

  2. Alan in Kent WA says:

    I am one who can use twenty words when one will do.  I volunteer myself for science to see if this thing really works.

    • Rynski says:

      hahhaha! thanks for your honesty, alan in kent wa – as well as your offer to make a very valuable contribution to science. i always knew you were cool – haha.

  3. radmax says:

    What a great idea! Now if someone would just invent a babble blocker… 😉 Hey, it might put this site out of business though…

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