Sometimes we wish certain folks would just shut up.
We all know at least one Chatty Cathy type – although one is often loud and loose-lipped enough to sound like seven different people.
These types don’t even care what they’re saying. They’ll talk about the weather, their sweater, the rain, their pain, the sun, their operation, their baby’s latest bowel movement – enough talk, talk, talk to drive us insane.
They corner us in the supermarket, explaining the holistic benefits of organic bananas or oolong tea. They stifle us at the workplace, crowding like cackling hens around our desk or flooding us with words near the office water cooler, mere inches from the doorway and escape.
They let loose on the phone, spewing nonstop talk like vomit, or pin us to our porches on our way out the door, slathering words into our ears until they bleed.
Sometimes they even enter our homes – disguised as drunk uncles, chatty cousins or one heck of an obnoxious mother-in-law.
Well now we have a solution.
While a gag, muzzle or swift punch in the mouth comes immediately to mind as a way to stop the ceaseless babble, there is something that is much more humane – and not as likely to get us arrested.
Enter the Blabber Meter.
This handy, dandy tech device looks and feels like a small silver desk clock. But it is so much more. The Blabber Meter comes completely equipped with a timer that automatically converts minutes into money units.
This way you know and can show how much time – and money – the incessant talker is wasting with every word about the weather, every description of their baby’s latest bowel movement.
You might even get in good with your boss, when you show her how a stifling, long corporate meeting is eating up hundreds of dollars in company profits. Just be wary when using on the mother-in-law.
The Blabber Meter is lightweight and completely portable, ideal for those on-the-go situations at the supermarket or front porch.
Yes, the Blabber Meter is for real – learn more or buy one today for only $24.99 at its website BlabberMeter.com.
Yes, the Blabber Meter – because money is time, time is money and nothing is as golden as silence.
Ryn Gargulinski is a poet, artist, performer and TucsonCitizen.com Ryngmaster who sometimes wishes she had a Blabber Meter when a certain someone talks and talks through the movies we rent. Her column appears every Friday on Rynski’s Blogski. Her art, writing and more is at RynRules.com and Rynski.Etsy.com. E-mail email@example.com.
What do you think?
Will you be purchasing a Blabber Meter?
What Chatty Cathy types annoy you most?
What methods have you used to make people be quiet?