Dumb Tucson criminals make cop job easier: Bumbling burglars and naive bank robber arrested in separate crimes

Law enforcement is a tough job, but sometimes a few dimwitted criminals come along that make a cop’s job a tad easier.

Bank suspect Brian Sallee/TPD photo

Such was the case this week with an afternoon bank robbery from a suspect who appears to have taken hairstyling tips from pop sensation Justin Bieber, and a brazen yet bumbling burglary attempt by suspects who perhaps could use some of those hairstyling tips.

Tucson police arrested the afternoon bank robber Oct. 27 while Pima County sheriff deputies nabbed a trio of brazen burglars Oct. 24, one of whom drove a forklift through a wall to enter a business and another who fought with a sheriff canine, according to news releases from the respective agencies.

The robbery suspect, a Bieber-banged young man, evidently didn’t have much sense when he decided to rob a bank.

In the middle of the afternoon.
In the middle of town.
With no weapons but a demand note – and very slow reflexes coupled with few observational skills.

The would-be robber also picked a branch of the Pima County Federal Credit Union at 3730 N. Stone Ave, a scant 4 miles north of Tucson Police headquarters.

As with many banks, the credit union was equipped with a hold-up alarm, which sends out a 911 to police that a robbery is in progress.

Police were on the scene within one minute to find the suspect still standing there at a teller window.

Brian Maxwell Sallee, 21, was arrested without incident and charged with one count of robbery.

Wesley Wallace/PCSD photo

At least Sallee’s alleged robbery attempt was a bit more subtle than an attempted burglary that went down days earlier when thieves blasted through walls with hammers and a forklift.

Pima County Sheriff deputies were called to the bumbling burglary in progress around 10 p.m. Oct. 24 at a strip of buildings in the industrial area of 3100 block of South Dodge Boulevard.

The exact location of the burglary must have been fairly evident when deputies arrived to find a hole cut through a roll up door.

Randall Gray/PCSD photo

The burglars entered the first business through the hole, went on to drive a forklift through an interior wall to get into a second business and then used hammers to bust through more interior walls to get into a third and fourth business.

“Extensive damage was done to the businesses and warehouse structure,” the release duly noted.

While the Tasmanian-devil approach to burglary may be absurd enough, one of the suspects made the arrest even more absurd by tangling with the sheriff’s canine when the dog found them hiding in crates.

Michael Fink/PCSD photo

Since all three were arrested, his tangling evidently did not pay off.

Arrested were Wesley Wallace, 46; Michael Fink, 48; and Randall Gray, 40. All three were charged with first degree burglary, felony criminal damage, felony theft and possession of burglary tools. The release did not note if they brought their own forklift.

Gray had the addition charge of harming a working animal tacked on for fighting with the sheriff’s K-9.

Best wishes for the canine’s speedy recovery – and the criminals’ speedy prosecution.


What do you think?

Are criminals getting dumber?


About Rynski

Writer, artist, performer who specializes in the weird, wacky and sometimes creepy. Learn more at ryngargulinski.com.
This entry was posted in Crime, danger, gross stuff, Heroes, life, Police/fire/law, Stupidity and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Dumb Tucson criminals make cop job easier: Bumbling burglars and naive bank robber arrested in separate crimes

  1. radmax says:

    ?…Geez Rynski, these clowns make the guy who robbed a convenience store in a clear plastic bag mask look like a genius. Hope they enjoy their stay in the Silverlake Hotel.

    • Rynski says:

      hahahhahahahha! hey radmax, how neat-o to see you nice and early today – and thanks for your input. i agree – it’s a tough one to beat out a robber who uses a CLEAR plastic bag as a mask – was he hoping to suffocate midway through? – but these guys may have done it!
      have a glorious, crime-free day.

  2. leftfield says:

    People commit crimes in the environment in which they are familiar and with the tools they have available.  If you are a poor stiff, you rob a bank, burglarize a business or mug someone.  If you are the former owner of a baseball team and find yourself president of the US, you send in the Army.  If you run a bank, you tack on a few extra fees to talk to a live teller.

    • Rynski says:

      hahhaha! makes total sense to me, leftfield. thanks for input. seems if the trio did have their own forklift to bring to the scene (hahah) they could have sold that for cash rather than waste time and energy busting down walls.
      forklifts are hot commodities on the market these days.

    • fraser007 says:

      I just had a feeling that comment would be coming forth.

  3. radmax says:

    Ha! I was just gonna propose my radmaxian theorem that the reason for for the abundance of wit-challenged criminals these days is that the crooks with the grey matter are all gainfully employed by the banking industry, Wallstreet or if you are really devious…politics, where the real money is.

  4. andrew farley says:

    Hell, The outfits should have tipped them off. Is it the same smock or do they have their own? Maybe each defendent can autograph it to pay for the attorney fees. Wallace looks like the “Brains” of the group, Grey, the comic-relief guy and “Fink” looks like my Brother.

  5. Alan in Kent WA says:

    The TPD has a reputation of catching the bad ones going back to Dillinger, who the FBI could not catch.  The mug shots with the Buddist Monk look adds an amount of contritness to some people that maybe should be presented in a cage like those trials in Iraq.

    • Rynski says:

      hey alan in kent wa,
      the last time i saw cage people was on the streets of nyc, actually – some protest against falun dafa…hey, maybe these are falun dafa smocks and not buddhist monk looks after all?

  6. Colt Carson says:

    My guess is that Curly, Larry & Moe had to use the photographer’s “hoody” as a top, because the canine-cop must’ve torn off their Savers personal-effects specials!

    Looks like the Bon Jovi wannabe lost his rocker “T” as well!

    • Rynski says:

      hey colt carson,
      very good theory on the hoodies! hhhahahaha.
      although i must defend savers as i shop there often and absolutely love the place – best deals in town on everything from feathered purses to sequin shirts, not to mention where i got this year’s velvet dress halloween costume.
      too bad i didn’t have a ‘hoodie’ to wear atop it….

      • Colt Carson says:

        You’re right, Ryn. Savers does have its moments!

        I’ve been known to find me a crazy “T” or two.

        Hmmm… gotta get over there for Halloween…

      • Rynski says:

        yaaay! glad you found some savers gems as well – and YES! best place for halloween shopping.
        even the ‘new’ stuff is dirt cheap. my velvet dress was only $7.99 and comes complete with lace overlay cape and ribbon bodice.
        i even saw a leopard print cowboy hat….

      • Colt Carson says:

        Uh… for you, I hope!

        “Regular” cowboy hats for me, thanks!

      • Rynski says:

        hahha! yes, for me – not you – or also for anyone who wants to dress up as a wild west pimp or one of the tattoo artists i met in tucumcarci, new mex, who sported a leopard print cowboy hat on daily basis.

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