Forget candy and plastic costumes – Go green for Halloween

Yes, kiddies, even though Halloween is all in fun and frivolity, that doesn’t mean you have to ruin the environment.

DO decorate with organic pumpkins/Ryn Gargulinski

DO decorate with organic pumpkins/Ryn Gargulinski

You can be green for Halloween – which means saving the Earth, not necessarily dressing as a frog or a witch.

Forget the Butterfingers. Many of you kids are too fat, anyway, since all you do is sit around and play video games.

Rather than candy, tell all your big people friends to mete out “organic, fair trade fruit snacks, raisins, juice boxes, snack bars, trial size packs of veggie chips.” Obesity and overweight statistics are already at a hefty 67 percent. Don’t make it 68.

Forget the stupid plastic costumes. Those store-bought atrocities are never original and wholly disposable. They are also made of thin, icky plastic that will eventually clog our waterways and feels gross against the skin. Rather than investing in yet another landfill item, borrow stuff from your adult friends for costumes.

If you know a beekeeper, I’m sure he’ll be happy to hand over his hat and netting. Belly dancers will be glad to let you wear their tasseled bikini tops and finger chimes. And don’t forget your neighbor, Mr. Policeman. You can borrow his hat, badge and gun.

A big, inflatable DON'T/Ryn Gargulinski

A big, inflatable DON'T/Ryn Gargulinski

Don’t make dad inflate Frankenstein in the middle of your yard. Sure, those big, inflatable Halloween decorations may look snazzy, but all that air being pumped inside is wasting energy and probably screwing up our ozone.

They are also known to randomly deflate and rip. This becomes a choking hazard for any kittens, coyotes and babies that may randomly crawl across the lawn.

Instead make Halloween decorations out of recycled materials or something strong and durable so you can later hang them in your bedroom all year round. Use washable, re-usable pillowcases instead of plastic pumpkins to gather your loot.

Walk already. Don’t have your parents drive you around and idle the engine outside every house from which you will gather your organic, fair trade fruit snacks. Get out and walk. Have mom or dad park on the corner and walk around the whole block.

Better yet, carpool with neighbors so you can cram as many kids as possible into one vehicle. This will cut down on pollution and put fewer cars on the road, which means less chance of running over a child who haphazardly darts across the street dressed as a ghost.

It will also let a host of adults get out of the trick or treating gig, as they can claim they cannot fit in the car and the person driving will be stuck with the whole gaggle of children.

Source: Some original ideas but mostly highly embellished news release from the Pima County Department of Environmental Quality.

Are these durable enough to be used year round?/Ryn Gargulinski

Are these durable enough to be used year round?/Ryn Gargulinski

Disclaimer: Although this was written with sarcasm, some of these are actually pretty good ideas. But please don’t loan a kid your police badge and gun. And we’re not sure how excited kids will get over organic, fair trade veggie chips.

[tnipoll]

wb-logolil

This kid's got the costume right, but tsk, tsk, he's using a plastic pumpkin/Ryn Gargulinski

This kid's got the costume right, but tsk, tsk, he's using a plastic pumpkin/Ryn Gargulinski

What do you think?

Should folks concentrate on going green and feeding kids fruit snacks instead of candy?

Is the “go green” movement something you try to embrace or is the whole thing getting on your nerves?

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About Rynski

Writer, artist, performer who specializes in the weird, wacky and sometimes creepy. Learn more at ryngargulinski.com.
This entry was posted in danger, environment, life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

67 Responses to Forget candy and plastic costumes – Go green for Halloween

  1. radmax says:

    Mornin’ Rynski. Yes, I’ve restructured my entire existence to save our dying plant. From using only bio-diesel on my Learjet, to converting my golf cart to run on table scraps.
    This sounds like Lefty’s one tooth guy: 🙂
    ” I do nothing because I don’t care. We’re all going to die anyway the Earth may as well die with us.

  2. azmouse says:

    Well, I’m a bad person. I have Paydays, Snickers, Whoppers, 1000 Grands, Reeses cups, Milk Duds, Comic Book Hero Candy, a bag called Monster Mix-Up, Twizzlers, Almond Joy and the big standard grab-bag of Tootsie Rolls, Toosie-Pops.

    I do turn the water off when I brush my teeth, though……..

    • radmax says:

      Hello az! I’m headin’ to YOUR house!
      PS-No spinach brownies or broccoli melt-a-ways? 🙂

    • Rynski says:

      well, i DO hope you at least somehow recycle all those candy wrappers – haha. and yes, i’m a water-turner-offer for brushing my teeth myself. and i mean to use cloth bags at the grocery store – or at least i had two of them in my trunk. but i always forgot to bring them in. and when i did bring them in, there is no way in heck all my groceries would fit in two totes – so i end up with plastic bags anyway. i need the plastic bags for dog poop pickup – although someone did tell me i can buy biodegradable dog waste bags for such a purpose.

      • azmouse says:

        I re-use the plastic bags at the grocery store. I think Fry’s takes ten cents off your bill per plastic bag you bring in to re-use. And, yes, two totes wouldn’t even put a dent in the amount of groceries I usually buy. lol

      • Jennatoolz says:

        Speaking of recycling candy wrappers, last Halloween, my mom and stepdad recycled theirs by wrapping up small rocks with them and handed them out to some troublesome kids in their neighborhood. It’s really funny, but sad at the same time. Those kids who got the rock must have been so disappointed. Lol 😛

      • Rynski says:

        that’s hilarious!! but my first thought is the troublesome kids who got the rocks would immediately throw them through the windows. did they? hahah

      • Jennatoolz says:

        Hmm good question there! The rocks were pretty small though, not sure if they’d do much damage.

        Rumor has it my parents will be handing out “rock candy” again this year. Haha 😉

      • azmouse says:

        Hope they don’t get sued over broken teeth!

  3. Jennatoolz says:

    Being that I work in the waste industry, my company is big on “going green.” They even use the word “GREEN” as an acronym, and sometimes people win things for knowing what each letter stands for…I won a lunch box once! Anyway, I do a lot of recycling at home and in the office. Fun, fun.

    I totally used the pillow case when I was a trick-or-treater! So much more room for candy – err I mean healthy non-tooth-rotting fruit snacks in a pillow case, than in one of those plastic pumpkins, too! 😛

    • Rynski says:

      good point on the pillow case, jeannatoolz. so much better for gathering those organic, free trade banana chips!
      those little pumpkins ARE very little….although i always think they are so cute….
      also good for you on engaging in the green – and winning a lunch box, to boot! hope it is an environmentally friendly lunch box.

  4. leftfield says:

    Halloween is the time for scary things, but I’m more than horrified to think that Ms Ryn would feed her dogs table scraps. 

    Even though her tongue is firmly in cheek with this article, I have to agree that the kids would be better off if you handed out raisins rather than Snickers.  And think of the exercise you would get cleaning off your soaped windows and toilet-papered trees.

    • Karen Nelson says:

      Ha! I like your way of working exercise into the equation!
      And as far as healthy treats go… Even though I am the TC Queen of health and fitness, I feel it is absurd to ruin Halloween with healthy treats! Kids need that one time a year to get the fun stuff! And once the candy has been checked (and properly confiscated) by parents, a day or two of candy binging is not going to make them obese! Don’t ruin the fun!
      And as far as those plastic pumpkins… I think they are very green… my kids had them and used them over and over every year (until they got older and used the pillow cases!), and now I use them to put my give-out candy in… I would say 20 years of use is not so ungreen…
      We always gave rocks to kids over 13… Just dig down to the bottom of the bowl of candy for the rocks and drop them in their bag or pillowcase!! They think they are getting something great!

      • azmouse says:

        I agree with you on the candy.

        But, what is with the rock thing? I never heard of that before. Is 14 to old to go trick or treating? To me, that’s just a little kid. I’d rather they trick or treat for some candy than stand on a corner smoking meth.

        I din’t know there was a cut off age for giving kids candy on Halloween?!?
        Sorry, I think the rock thing sounds mean.

      • Jennatoolz says:

        That’s why they call it “Trick or Treating” Azmouse. 😛

        My parents don’t hand out rocks to the young kids…only the older kids that would understand that it was just a prank. 🙂

      • Rynski says:

        the cut off age for trick or treaters is 21.

      • Rynski says:

        20 years you used those plastic pumpkins? that cheap vinyl strap always broke on mine in the first five minutes!

    • Rynski says:

      aww, leftfield – i don’t REALLY give my dogs table scraps. I MUST admit they get a morsel or two of very plain jane stuff (i.e. white rice or non-spiced-up chicken) just because they beg and beg and beg.
      but a steady diet of table scraps is not in their regime. besides, i tried it once and the excessive curry i always use made them puke all yellow – haha.

  5. leftfield says:

    As to the environment, I have mixed feelings.  I do participate in recycling, xeriscaping, etc, even though we all know that capitalism, with its sights always zeroed in on short-term gain, is incompatible with any sort of long-term sustainability.

  6. MICHAEL MEDINA says:

    You have to put your green c$%p on Halloween too? Is there anything you can leave for us to enjoy without having to deal with your turnwater off while brushing type. Are you goin to ask that we not wipe our you know what after we you know what cause will DESTROY the planet. And are they making green condoms yet cause I use alot of those and I know they are piling up.

  7. A.Farley says:

    I give out cheap prison issue tooth brushes. I get them for $6.32 a gross out of the Bob Barker catalog and the kids love it every time they go to Mr. Farleys house.
    “jailing ordinary” is the captcha of the day, that is so cool!

  8. Andrew Ulanowski says:

    “This becomes a choking hazard for any kittens, coyotes and babies that may randomly crawl across the lawn.”
    My favorite sentence of the day!
     

    • Rynski says:

      thanks, andrew! i’m quite fond of it too. but i don’t think it beats my ALL TIME fave sentence about a dog’s eye popping out and thus ruining thanksgiving  -hahah.

  9. azmouse says:

    Can someone explain to me why someone would give children rocks???

    What is ‘to old’ for trick or treating??? And who made the ‘to old’ rule? How did I miss that?!?

    If you come to my door and say, “Trick or treat”, I’m giving you some candy without checking an I.D. to see if you are beyond the ‘to old’ age. LOL

    • A.Farley says:

      I am so there Az Mouse. Never to old to T&T.
      roar mari

      • Jennatoolz says:

        Haha..I commented on your other post about why rocks are given. It’s just a “Trick” instead of a “Treat” 😛

        I know a lot of older teens that go trick or treating still, which is fine by me. They’re the ones that get the rocks (and some candy too, to be fair)…and hopefully they look at what they’re eating before they pop it in their mouth. 😀

      • azmouse says:

        Thanks Farley!

    • Karen Nelson says:

      Don’t get so upset!!! It’s just that when I was a kid, we held the conviction that trick-or-treating was for little kids. In my neighborhood, people were not very well off, so it was just not right for the little ones to have to compete for a limited resource with older kids that can carry more and move faster, etc.  So, when we were teenagers, we knew who was “too old” and we would trick rather than treat…  Just the way it was…
       

      • azmouse says:

        I’m not upset, I’m shocked. Smart parents know to take the little kids out right after sundown, so they get the best stuff anyway. The older kids start cruising around later, usually 8 to 10pm. I’ve heard of people turning off their lights after a certain time period so they don’t deal with the older kids, just never heard of giving children rocks. t’s so Charlie Brown.

        Of course, I don’t advocate coal at Christmas either. lol

      • azmouse says:

        Poor guy. On “The Great Pumpkin’ Charlie Brown kept getting rocks thrown in his bag. (I hope you didn’t miss this one as a kid!)
        Maybe it’s a childhood memory of how sad I felt for him when he got rocks. I just didn’t think people really did that.

  10. leftfield says:

    OK, I know everyone hates this.  Think of it as eating your broccoli or brussel sprouts – good for you if not pleasant.  “To” is a word that has many uses.  Most commonly it is part of the infinitive form of a verb, e.g. “to walk”.  It is also used as a preposition, e.g. “Give it to him”.  “Too” is used to to mean “in addition”, or also, as in, “I have one of those, too”.  It also is used to indicate excess or degree, e.g. “That’s too much”.

    Please, don’t direct your displeasure to me or hate me too much for this.

  11. Jennatoolz says:

    Here, here! A common mistake made by many. Same goes for “their”, “there”, and “they’re”. Back in middle school, I thought I was the only one in my class that understood the difference, and where/when to use each word correctly. 😛

  12. MICHAEL MEDINA says:

    I know that pepole get mixed up wen chating on lyne cause we know that were going to be graded at the end of the klass. So im alwayz macking shur i spell and punctuate corecktly befour I hit cend.

  13. Mark B. Evans says:

    Why do your posts always elicit such pointless comment exchanges?
    Is it you? Or them?

    • azmouse says:

      It’s all of us, Mark.
      The crazy part is, it all makes absolutely perfect sense to us!

      Ryn is like a ‘guilty pleasure’ without the calories.

    • Rynski says:

      i wouldn’t call sharing experiences, joking around and making each other laugh ‘pointless.’ at least not following my theory that one of the main points of life is to have fun. right before you drop dead, of course.
      besides, the comments take on a direction and life of their own. i like it. you never know where or why you’ll end up discussing anything from latex chest covers to charlie brown.
      and thanks for your input AZMouse – it DOES make perfect sense!

      • Karen Nelson says:

        I wish my health and fitness topics elicited such “pointless” comments! Would mean people are reading! I agree, Ryn… sharing experiences and making each other laugh or even look at things from a different perspective is not so pointless!  Sorry, Mark!

    • radmax says:

      Since all the gals are rakin’ you over the coals Mr. Evans…I might as well join in. 🙂
      Rynski’s topics are something almost everyone experiences, therefore the high number of folks who enjoy what she has to say, or argue another point of view.
      As for the tangents we go off on, it’s because we have become familiar with each other and like to make each other laugh, or just say something back!
      So, in answer to your question, yes.
      Pointlessness is in the eye of the beholder.
       

  14. oldwest2 says:

    Wow Mark the girls are ganging up on you….Umm but unfortunately i agree with them, nothing is more fun than watching the posts head into no mans/womans land and taking on a life of their own. On many occasions i read a post and find myself thinking, wow i never looked at it that way before. Pointless or not they are funny and fun at times.

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