Lost cucumber found mutilated

A cucumber that mysteriously disappeared out of my Sunday evening grocery haul surfaced Monday morning, much worse for the wear.

Seems my dog Saywer found the thing, who knows where, and likened it to a bone or chew toy.


At least his mutilation of the cucumber was not as destructive as the times he ate my cell phone and walking shoes. A past dog of mine ate a tube of sunblock and book about the devil. One of my rats, who romped through my apartment sans cage, chewed a hole through the arm of my leather jacket.

The cucumber seems quite tame, especially since it is not known to be harmful to dogs, unlike raisins, onions or chewing gum.

Perhaps Sawyer needed more greens in his diet.




What’s the weirdest thing your pet ever chewed up, destroyed or ate?


About Rynski

Writer, artist, performer who specializes in the weird, wacky and sometimes creepy. Learn more at ryngargulinski.com.
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15 Responses to Lost cucumber found mutilated

  1. Red Star says:

    How were you planning to use the cucumber?

  2. Rynski says:

    Aww, why do you gotta go and ruin a poignant and very important vignette with such inquiries?!

    Sawyer is ashamed of you (haha).

  3. Pingback: Sensible Diet Shop » Lost cucumber found mutilated - Tucson Citizen

  4. Rynski says:

    That is too, too funny!
    The mutilated cucumber story ended up on a Diet Website!
    Well, I guess one way to lose weight is to have your dog mutilate all the food you were going to eat.

    Gotta love those computer search engines.

  5. Pingback: My Discount Diet » Lost cucumber found mutilated - Tucson Citizen

  6. Star3 says:

    Maybe you should offer Sawyer some carrots and radishes, so he would have a salad for dinner. Don’t know about Sawyer, but my shepard would not eat raw eggs or raw hamburger; if it wasn’t cooked, she wanted no part of it. So much for the wolf relative.

  7. Emma J says:

    Ryn, maybe Sawyer was getting back at you for the pink wig incident!!

    In the 90’s I rescued a grizzled orange tomcat, and named him Grover. Grover was one of the coolest cats ever, and loved Chicken McNuggets. When the 20 piece (remember those?) would go on sale, I’d buy one and share ’em with him. He’d put a whole McNugget in his mouth, then a moment later spit out the breading. Grover also taught himself how to lift the lid on a pizza box.

    I also used to have a cat who loved any type of bread. One day I brought in groceries, and sat them on the floor as I put them away. The cats were sniffing through the bags as usual, but afterwards I couldn’t find the corn tortillas I bought. A bit later I found Scooter at the end of the hallway, tearing through the bag to get to the tortillas inside.

    And Snoopy, the Alpha cat in the house, has loved to climb Christmas trees since he was a kitten. Trouble is, he’s now huge and heavy and knocks the trees down. Every year when we go get our cut tree, I debate on whether or not I should secure it to the wall or ceiling. The years I don’t, the tree would always fall over when Snoopy tried to climb it. Even when it’s secured and won’t fall over, Snoopy knocks or pulls down all the decorations within his reach. Within a week of putting the tree up, the lower third of it looks ragged and, well, like cats have been torturing it.

    Grover and Scooter passed away years ago, but thanks for waking up these fun memories of them!!

  8. Rynski says:

    Emma J –

    Ha! Have to laugh at your theory of Sawyer’s revenge with the cucumber to combat the pink wig.

    Also have to laugh at the stories of your cat antics. Hilarious. Especially like the image of Grover spitting out nugget breading and opening the pizza box.

    Star3 –
    Sawyer loves carrots and he regularly eats grass so maybe he’s trying to emulate a salad on his own? I can’t give him radishes because radishes are evil and I won’t keep them in the house (haha). Do you know anyone who actually like radishes?

    Very funny on the raw meat aversion your shepherd has. Yes, wolf origin shot to heck with that one!

  9. mitch says:

    Well, it’s an improvement over what he ate last week!!

  10. Korey K says:

    Rynski says:
    June 2, 2009 at 5:55 am

    “Do you know anyone who actually like radishes?”

    I love radishes. The after effects not so much.

  11. Korey K says:

    Yippee skippee! Quotes now work. Way to go bug fixers!

  12. azmouse says:

    I love radishes too….all veggies!

    One of my dogs, Barnaby, loves pickles.

    One of my cats, Darwin, loves popcorn. I can throw a piece, and he can catch it in his mouth. Of course, I’ve also taught him to sit, roll over, give kisses and head-butts, and to whisper. I also take him on walks on a leash.

    Hmmm….might I have to much time on my hands?!?

  13. azmouse says:

    By the way, Sawyer is to cute!

  14. Pingback: Walk your dog for a good cause « Rynski’s Blogski

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